In Memories ... Part 3

We will go back whenever there is a long weekend and during school holiday I will let them stay there thru out the school holidays. I know now all her interest is in the kids already. For her now, all the kids she taken cared before all already grown up. And her only ac-companion is the kids.

monkey climb

3-2-1

Small Bully

Enjoying

Until when she start to sick, she never call for few days and the kids eventually missed her and called her. Her tears will flow down even without her noticing it. and my kids will comfort her. This made her days. In hospitals, my kids will share the food with her, while draining her urine bag, my son will help her. My kids sometime will feed her. A simple move really touched her in her heart.

Sharing a bed

The struggling between hospital and home take place for more than 6 months. This period of time, we really saw true color of peoples around us. The true color. Disappointment and unhappiness made her decided to follow me to Johor. I know with her condition, she cannot really sit for too long yet she still follow me for the whole long 3 hours journey from Melaka to Johor. Knowing time is not long, we tried to satisfied her need to the best of our knowledge.

Only 2 and a half week she stayed with us, we have to send her back to Hospital. Just that this time it is Johor Hospital, Her condition getting from bad to worst. She cannot even move her body and what worst, because she had diabetic and bed bounded for sometime, her back starting to skin-peel. And she need to rely on oxygen to breath. It was a painful experience to see her suffering. Then my sister plan to bring her back to Melaka which I strongly object. she already suffering from such pain yet they want to let her travel all the way back to Melaka.

Last moment

2 days before she passed away, my sister message me to arrange discharge procedure in Johor hospital. I was so mad that I did not reply any message. Until on the morning that she passed away, morning 8am i called my sister telling her if they insist of bringing her back to Melaka, I will not interfere anymore on my aunt. I have to said that to prevent them bringing her back. Just an hour after my call to my sister, Hospital called breaking the news my aunt has passed away. I was thinking I suppose to visit her after the shower and unable to finish my shower, the phone rang.

Rushing to the hospital, my mind was blank along the way. Reaching the hospital , with heavy heart, we went up to her ward. I hold my feeling and told myself I cannot cry. Cause if I cried, my wife will feel sadder. I calm my mind proceed with the procedure of discharging her. A message to inform other family members.

Final view

At the mortuary, they asking me how to bring her back to melaka, without second thought, i ask if i can bring her back in my car? permission given and I bring her back in my car. Before heading over to Melaka, I stopped by my Johor house to tell her we are going back. Along the road back to Melaka 3 hours, I was holding back my feeling. once a while my tears will fall. Trying hard to recall the memories we had, I don't know why only memories when i was small. Where is the memories of me and her when adult? Oh Gost...

Remembered forever

.

On this day 12 Oct 2016, it was 54 days after she left us. Sometime when sitting alone, will think of her. I can only said: " Kocik.... You will always be remembered...."

Gathering

In memories .... part 2

After University 3 years, I managed to graduate. Only 2 seats to attend to my Convocation and one of the mandatory seat I reserved for her. I can see from her eyes a sight of relief seeing me half success. Ending my study life means beginning of working life.

I initially plan to work in KL so I give my self a month to search for job in KL after my graduation. Staying in KL without income is not an easy thing. She does not agree or deny me to continue staying in KL even though I know she don't really like the idea as she will be lonely. Life seems to be funny as just before i decided to back to Melaka to find job, I was offer an interview in KL.

I went back to KL for interview and the job required us to work either in Johor, Singapore or Batam. The me by then don't even know where is Batam so we were offered a one day trip to understand Batam. My aunt against the job as she not sure of what Batam look like by then too. Without a passport, i took it as a determining factor, I told her if i able to get a passport by that noon, I will go for the visit and decide later.  (The passport by then is very difficult to get as all number run out as early as 8am and i was discussing the topic at 11am).

Maybe it is predestine that way, I manage to got my passport on the same afternoon. I explained and share the things I saw in Batam. She was at first reluctant to let go but at last she let me choose my own destiny. And that's how i started my first job. Training in Batam for first six month before back in Johor for plant setup.

During the 6 months in Batam, every Friday I will travel by bus to Batam Ferry terminal took a ferry to Johor ferry terminal then chasing a cab to Johor bus station to catch a bus back to Melaka. Always reaching Melaka midnight, she will always wait me with dinner reserved for me (or i shall called it breakfast). Sometime when i reached home, she already sleeping on the couch while waiting for me. Sunday taking the reverse method back to Batam. This has been repeating for the whole 6 months.

Started life in Johor plant is more busy then "screw up vacation" in Batam, I have less time to go back. (whereby Johor is nearer compared to Batam). Only going back once or twice a month, I feel very bad. Until next chapter of my life where i got my girlfriend (now my wife). I relocate my wife in Melaka when my first baby on the way.

Family Celebration

Catch hold at barber

time with kids

To be frank, she was the one i trusted and she is the first one I refer back. The marriage decisions created some havoc but I will put that aside. now that my wife is in Melaka, so she have accompany to talk. I think thats the most I can do. with my first kids arrival and follow by my second kids arrival, She is having a contented life where she can play with kids, at least she won't feel lonely as me in Johor, My elder sister in KL.

The only photo I had with her

Holiday in Penang

4 years in Melaka, My house in Johor finally completed and I decided to bring my family down to Johor, but my aunt do not want to follow as she worry she do not have friends in Johor. Hesitate to let my wife and kids follow me to Johor, but with heavy heart, she let them go. She know when they are in Johor, there will be less time for her to play with the kids. She even proposed to let me elder son to study in Melaka but I rejected the proposal cause I was separated from my parent since i was small kids and I do not want the history to happen again. So we started our life in Johor without her following us.

Superman showing the road

Family Trip to Singapore

Every time school holiday she will plan for activities for the kids in Melaka. She will call everyday to my house to talk to my wife and my kids. sometime even few times call in a day. And my kids will call her to complain when my wife canned them.

Durian time

Cameron break

Penang

(To be continue....)

In Memories... part 1

I'm not sure since when or maybe i could say since i had memories, i have been staying with her..that is when I'm around 2 or 3 years old. Just because my parent was busy working in KL, I was relocated to stay with my granny and my aunt (the remembered). (I think since i was small i was meant to be relocate).

I was suppose to enter a English school by then by not sure why i insist of enroll in a Chinese school. She did registered me o a Chinese school as where my elder sister went. I still remember every morning she will wake up much earlier than us to prepare breakfast for me and my sister. There is always a cup of 3 in 1 there ready for me matching with either bread with egg, bread with sausage or even fried noodle. And i will always only drink half of the 3 in 1 prepared. I guessed I just like the feeling of sharing :)

After breakfast she will always walked me and my sister thru the dark street to the bus stop to wait for our school bus. Only after we safely on the bus only she will walk back home. After school we will rush home and there is always lunch prepared for us on the table. I never failed to finish all the food she prepared. ( I really missed her food).

After lunch she will always carry a can as I am the lazy type who don't like to do homework and there goes as everyday she will shout until the whole kampung can heard her voice and I will cry when got canned, It is worst when I need to write calligraphy starting standard 3. Her voice is louder as I always denied to complete the work.

Every time collecting report card from the school, the teacher will always complaint I cried easily in school (now inherited by my elder son :)  ). Throughout my primary school even thou she is fierce with a can as her weapon, but i can know she loved us, she will always support us no matter in what way.

She is carrying the whole family with rental from my father house and paid for being a nanny taking care others kids. I know it is not easy as a single guardian to hold such heavy responsibility. Lucky during I was kids, I don't really demand for toys, we can play with a toothpaste box for hours. Maybe kids by then not really into so materialistic lifestyle. All the pocket money and school fees are indeed expensive for her to carry all b
y herself.

I still remember every month she will bring me along to take bus all the way to collect rental from my father's house tenant. and we will stop at bus station to had either chicken rice, fried kuey tiow or hot plate noodle. ( All those no more since the move of the old bus station to the new bus station)

Secondary school life really made us less closer as i think that is the age where kids tent follow friends than family when outing. At age 16 where legal age for bike license, influenced by friends, I also pushing to get my own license but denied by my aunt as she feel it is dangerous. (i ride fast even on bicycles :)) Until one of my relative told her a guy somehow need to have a license. with a heavy heart she allow me to go for motorbike license but on my own cost. I took my saving for my license and i manage to got it.

Getting a license it is time to get a bike and she only said:" get it if you have money". Again I took my saving to buy a second hand bike. Now thinking back it is indeed a good education method of earning what you want to have. Since having bike, I was seldom home, after school, i will go out with friends. She will keep on nagging me for not studying and not staying home. I guess maybe she need more attention but just the young me does not really aware of that.

She has been nagging me most of the time,  "Have you lock your bike" , " Have you complete your home work" , " Have you packed your school bag" ..... I have always think it is very annoying.  (Actually now i missed being nagged by her :( ) Until one day my bike got stolen. I started to realize her nagging actually there is love in it.

After Pre-university in Melaka, I got offer to study in University in KL, That is where the time we met become lesser and lesser. We will go back whenever we have time but sometime course work really hold us back.

Family photo

(To be continue....)